Duck eggs—the energy drink in a shell. Now available in an assortment of flavors that can be easily digitized and uploaded to The Cloud, to be later enjoyed through your eyes and ears.

2020/05/092020/05/09 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Some people put more thought into what kind of car to buy than what kind of mate to marry. I think that’s foolish, because I’m a bicycle salesman. Well, I actually only have one bicycle to sell, and I stole it, which is what makes it so profitable.

2020/03/102020/03/10 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Next time a bicycle steals my monkey, I hope another floating head appears to offer emotional support. Maybe next time he’ll bring a matching and connected body, so he can chase down that bicycle thief—that thief of a bicycle.

2020/01/202020/01/20 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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You can afford to sell at 50% off when you have a whole warehouse full of the stuff, like I do.

2019/02/192019/02/19 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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After Wendell’s daring performance, if he should somehow survive, and that is a big IF for such a reasonable ticket price, join us as Wendell leads us in The Search for The Lost Treasure of Jesse James. Metal detector rentals ONLY $19.95.

2019/01/312019/01/31 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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If you buy enough fries from me, you can become your own bicycle ramp, and then you can actively become part of another person’s dream. Ask me about Bulk Discounts.

2019/01/082019/01/08 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I used to be a bicycle salesman, with my main promotion being Buy One Tire, Get One FREE. Now I sell Unicycles, and when you buy one you get a FREE handlebar mustache.

2018/12/192018/12/19 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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When I go jogging at night, and it’s pitch black, my shadow always takes the opportunity to run off and go grab a beer, because he thinks his actions are camouflaged and invisible to me. But when he gets fat and no longer mirrors my body, he’ll bring shame to The Shadow Community.

2018/08/212018/08/21 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I’ll be hosting the first ever International Nonsense Conference. It will be held on page 22 of your third-grade math book. You don’t want to miss it!

2018/04/17 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: bicycle

Duck eggs—the energy drink in a shell. Now available in an assortment of flavors that can be easily digitized and uploaded to The Cloud, to be later enjoyed through your eyes and ears.

Like this:

Some people put more thought into what kind of car to buy than what kind of mate to marry. I think that’s foolish, because I’m a bicycle salesman. Well, I actually only have one bicycle to sell, and I stole it, which is what makes it so profitable.

Like this:

Next time a bicycle steals my monkey, I hope another floating head appears to offer emotional support. Maybe next time he’ll bring a matching and connected body, so he can chase down that bicycle thief—that thief of a bicycle.

Like this:

You can afford to sell at 50% off when you have a whole warehouse full of the stuff, like I do.

Like this:

After Wendell’s daring performance, if he should somehow survive, and that is a big IF for such a reasonable ticket price, join us as Wendell leads us in The Search for The Lost Treasure of Jesse James. Metal detector rentals ONLY $19.95.

Like this:

If you buy enough fries from me, you can become your own bicycle ramp, and then you can actively become part of another person’s dream. Ask me about Bulk Discounts.

Like this:

I used to be a bicycle salesman, with my main promotion being Buy One Tire, Get One FREE. Now I sell Unicycles, and when you buy one you get a FREE handlebar mustache.

Like this:

When I go jogging at night, and it’s pitch black, my shadow always takes the opportunity to run off and go grab a beer, because he thinks his actions are camouflaged and invisible to me. But when he gets fat and no longer mirrors my body, he’ll bring shame to The Shadow Community.

Like this:

I’ll be hosting the first ever International Nonsense Conference. It will be held on page 22 of your third-grade math book. You don’t want to miss it!

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