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Tag: belief

All that separates you from The American Dream is faith. Just believe in things like 9/11 being the work of 19 literal troglodytes, cave dwellers, the six MILLION deaths in The Holocaust, and Santa Claus. These things are true, and you’re not a real patriot if you question them.

2020/10/16 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I’m a man of faith, I believe. And it’s that very belief that gives me my faith. For me the two are one, like my sale on Frozen Duck Soup Popsicles: Buy Two For The Price Of One! (Offer not valid for residents of Alaska.)

2020/05/232020/05/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Every Friday The Thirteenth I celebrate Knights Templar Day. I’ve got THE authentic map that details the location of their hidden treasure, and I’ll sell it to you for ONLY $19.95. (Limit one per customer.)

2020/04/212020/04/21 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Society decays in four-year chunks at a time, and it’s as if the more energy elections snatch, the faster the degradation occurs, which leads me to believe that voting works. Trump is going to break The System by continuing to inject corruption until The System purifies itself.

2019/12/28 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I sell Blindfolds, and I sell Dancing Lessons, and you’ll need both if you want to be my student. I hope you do want to be my student, because I’d really like to unload my inventory of Dancing Lessons. They are just sitting in boxes, taking up space in my warehouse.

2018/09/042018/09/04 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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You are nothing more than a collection of your thoughts and actions, but only one of those two things is visible to the world, so make sure you are transparent with your intentions.

2018/02/132018/02/13 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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This is what I see when I’m talking to anyone who believes anything that comes from NASA or SpaceX.

2018/02/09 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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One of the first things you must do when you become a man is to put away childish things. Yes, that includes your dinosaur toys—and your childlike belief in them. They couldn’t possibly be extinct—because they never existed.

2018/02/04 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Watch TV and believe. This is all you need to do to be the ideal citizen, from the government’s perspective.

2017/10/202017/10/25 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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