I drink every ounce of beer like it’s a liquid gold coin. Craig at Cheeky Monkey made me feel like a Swiss vault—and at piggybank prices.

2020/09/06 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

One day soon this new pond will be full of water, have Kelly-green clover growing all around, and have white ducks swimming in it. While you relax and enjoy the scenery, there’s even a special place to hold your beer. It’s called your stomach.

2020/08/012020/08/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I’m now offering FREE refills on Duck Soup. Must be 21 years or older to drink. Julia Roberts LOVES it, and she said it reminds her of the horse piss she used to drink as a young man.

2020/05/192020/05/19 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I’d recommend waiting an hour after eating and drinking before going swimming—unless you’re combining eating and drinking by enjoying a beer made by BearPaw Duck Farm. FREE refills after 11:59 PM and before midnight.

2020/05/192020/05/19 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Isn’t the mortality rate of The Coronavirus something like .003%? I guess Americans think trading 100% of our FREEDOM, and our ability to support ourselves, is a good bargain for something less deadly than drinking Corona beer and driving

2020/04/11 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Winter reminds me of that one time I went ice fishing. I caught a few beers. But I had to throw them back, because they were just babies. I only drink geriatric fermented barley.

2020/02/232020/02/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I’m also selling Fish-Scented Soap. Each bar comes with a FREE six-pack of beer.

2020/02/232020/02/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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My advice is more or less common sense: Sell more and sell less. Sell more quality, and sell less quantity. How many “I Love Branson” t-shirts do you really need? I’m asking because I only have 333 left in stock, but that should be good enough to get you through next week.

2019/11/262019/11/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Why plan for a doomsday disaster when you could just drink beer and watch football? Funeral home directors everywhere thank you for your inaction.

2019/10/162019/10/16 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Try The Fish Drink. It tastes like beer and wasted time. Buy a six pack for the price of eight.

2019/02/232019/02/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: beer

I drink every ounce of beer like it’s a liquid gold coin. Craig at Cheeky Monkey made me feel like a Swiss vault—and at piggybank prices.

Like this:

One day soon this new pond will be full of water, have Kelly-green clover growing all around, and have white ducks swimming in it. While you relax and enjoy the scenery, there’s even a special place to hold your beer. It’s called your stomach.

Like this:

I’m now offering FREE refills on Duck Soup. Must be 21 years or older to drink. Julia Roberts LOVES it, and she said it reminds her of the horse piss she used to drink as a young man.

Like this:

I’d recommend waiting an hour after eating and drinking before going swimming—unless you’re combining eating and drinking by enjoying a beer made by BearPaw Duck Farm. FREE refills after 11:59 PM and before midnight.

Like this:

Isn’t the mortality rate of The Coronavirus something like .003%? I guess Americans think trading 100% of our FREEDOM, and our ability to support ourselves, is a good bargain for something less deadly than drinking Corona beer and driving

Like this:

Winter reminds me of that one time I went ice fishing. I caught a few beers. But I had to throw them back, because they were just babies. I only drink geriatric fermented barley.

Like this:

I’m also selling Fish-Scented Soap. Each bar comes with a FREE six-pack of beer.

Like this:

My advice is more or less common sense: Sell more and sell less. Sell more quality, and sell less quantity. How many “I Love Branson” t-shirts do you really need? I’m asking because I only have 333 left in stock, but that should be good enough to get you through next week.

Like this:

Why plan for a doomsday disaster when you could just drink beer and watch football? Funeral home directors everywhere thank you for your inaction.

Like this:

Try The Fish Drink. It tastes like beer and wasted time. Buy a six pack for the price of eight.

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