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Tag: beer

The flavor of lemon is very punchy, and it hits you in the mouth like a boxer, which is why I drink it when I’m training for a fight. Of course, I do other things to prepare, like sitting on the grass watching my ducks squabble while I drink beer.

2021/01/032021/01/14 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I have fishing tips for days (and nights). I’m practically a pro bass fisherman. I’ve not caught any bass, but I sure have drunk a lot of beer trying.

2020/10/30 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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People often mistake my extreme athleticism for laziness. They think my cat and I are simply taking a nap, but they don’t realize we are training in the sport known as Cuddling. The only way you get to be World Cuddling Champions is if you train for hours and hours every day.

2020/10/18 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I drink every ounce of beer like it’s a liquid gold coin. Craig at Cheeky Monkey made me feel like a Swiss vault—and at piggybank prices.

2020/09/06 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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One day soon this new pond will be full of water, have Kelly-green clover growing all around, and have white ducks swimming in it. While you relax and enjoy the scenery, there’s even a special place to hold your beer. It’s called your stomach.

2020/08/012020/08/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I’m now offering FREE refills on Duck Soup. Must be 21 years or older to drink. Julia Roberts LOVES it, and she said it reminds her of the horse piss she used to drink as a young man.

2020/05/192020/05/19 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I’d recommend waiting an hour after eating and drinking before going swimming—unless you’re combining eating and drinking by enjoying a beer made by BearPaw Duck Farm. FREE refills after 11:59 PM and before midnight.

2020/05/192020/05/19 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Isn’t the mortality rate of The Coronavirus something like .003%? I guess Americans think trading 100% of our FREEDOM, and our ability to support ourselves, is a good bargain for something less deadly than drinking Corona beer and driving

2020/04/11 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Winter reminds me of that one time I went ice fishing. I caught a few beers. But I had to throw them back, because they were just babies. I only drink geriatric fermented barley.

2020/02/232020/02/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I’m also selling Fish-Scented Soap. Each bar comes with a FREE six-pack of beer.

2020/02/232020/02/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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  • I have the rarest of all sportsball cards. I have a one-of-one misprint. It’s supposed to be John Gochnaur, but the picture and name say Babe Ruth, whoever that is. It’s also autographed Tom Brady, and you know it’s authentic because I signed it myself. Now FOR SALE in Dogecoin.
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