A mutual fund manager will charge you 1.5% for the service of losing all your wealth. That’s foolish, because if your strategy is to lose all your money, I’ll do it for you for ONLY 1.49%.
Tag: bearpaw duck and meme farm
The only basketball player I’ve ever liked is Larry Bird. To me, the only way Larry Bird could be better is if he were Larry Duck.
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This song will be playing at all the hottest clubs from South Beach to Ibiza, and it will come to define Summer 2022. Babies will be made to this song.
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McDonald’s makes my grandma’s leftover meatloaf look fresh. She died in 1999.
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If I wrote a dictionary, would you read it? What if I made it flow like a Nicholas Sparks romance novel?
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If you are what you eat, then this morning I am nothing. But at least I’m awake, because I’m drinking coffee and I don’t watch mainstream news.
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If a library has no books, it’s just an empty building, and people would know there had been a heist. But if you burn the library after you loot it, then it’s not a robbery, it’s a loss that won’t be looked for or pursued.
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Helen Keller was a master at keeping secrets. Perhaps the biggest secret that she kept was that she was a he.
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You cannot buy what’s not for sale. But for a limited time, you can purchase what may or may not exist.
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Ducks can run, swim, fly, and have reduced the complexity of language down to the easily memorizable word, “Quack.” No wonder their eggs taste like the achievements of Roger Bannister, Michael Phelps, Amelia Earhart, and William Shakespeare.
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