“It’s not a proper duck farm if customers can’t ride a roaring bear—a bear that also happens to play the trumpet.” That’s a quote uttered and muttered by my grandpa, and he was mute, so you know it must be true.
Tag: bear
No bears were injured in the making of this GIF. Sadly, one little girl did start crying. But she stopped once I gave her a Frozen Duck Soup Popsicle, which is now FOR SALE and available in four fun flavors that all taste the same!
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The chart of Branson, Missouri on Google Trends from 2004 until today looks like a regular heartbeat. That’s the look of tourism having a stroke in the future.
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Did you know that Subway used the rubber found in yoga mats to make their bread? If you think that’s gross, wait until you find out about Beyond Meat! They don’t make food like they used to. That’s why I’m selling all your childhood favorites, pristinely preserved in Tupperware.
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Where did the first half of my joke go? I don’t even remember how it goes, so I have no idea where it could have gone. Maybe it’s wandering around THE Ohio State University chasing the ehoes of laughter from the recent Charlie Kirk heckling.
jarodkintz.com 