Writing would have more vibrancy if instead of ink, pens were filled with coffee.

2019/04/15 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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My fried chicken is made from locally sourced materials, including, but not limited to: Formaldehyde, pink sludge, and perfume (to preserve that back-of-the-fridge stink, for the nostalgia factor).

2019/04/112019/04/11 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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If you ever think you’re funny, just try your material on your cat, and then get back to writing, because you have work to do.

2019/04/102019/04/10 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I write in my sleep, groggily scribbling down dream thoughts, and so if I did sleep 20 hours a day, you couldn’t call me lazy, but with my voluminous work, you could call me L. Ron Hubbard.

2019/04/102019/04/10 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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My skills and resources are scarce, so be sure to book my services before all the pages are filled up and it’s FOR SALE in paperback format on Amazon for $19.95.

2019/03/202019/03/20 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I snuck a peak at the opening line of Jeremy’s Romance Novel, and it reads thus: “Our hero’s name is Jarod, and women want to be with him, men want to be him, and genderfluids want him to drink them.”

2019/03/172019/03/17 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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When I write my autobiography, it will be a cookbook called “4,321 Ways To Eat Leftover Meatloaf.” The only two unifying elements, besides the Leftover Meatloaf, will the blindfold and the clothespin, to plug your nose. The book’s suggested retail price will be $19.95.

2019/03/142019/03/14 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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2019 seems to be the year that men becoming women produces yawns induced by boredom. When men start transitioning into cats, wake me up, because it’s not like I don’t already self-identify as one.

2019/02/182019/02/18 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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At the height of my future media empire, I want my business to occupy a thirteen-story building. The Top Twelve stories will be pure fiction.

2019/01/282019/01/28 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I used to be a Donut Hustler, but then I realized it would be easier to be an author and sell ONE MILLION books than ONE MILLION donuts, because I only have to do the work once. So far I’ve sold one book. (Thanks, mom!)

2019/01/052019/01/05 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: author

Writing would have more vibrancy if instead of ink, pens were filled with coffee.

Like this:

My fried chicken is made from locally sourced materials, including, but not limited to: Formaldehyde, pink sludge, and perfume (to preserve that back-of-the-fridge stink, for the nostalgia factor).

Like this:

If you ever think you’re funny, just try your material on your cat, and then get back to writing, because you have work to do.

Like this:

I write in my sleep, groggily scribbling down dream thoughts, and so if I did sleep 20 hours a day, you couldn’t call me lazy, but with my voluminous work, you could call me L. Ron Hubbard.

Like this:

My skills and resources are scarce, so be sure to book my services before all the pages are filled up and it’s FOR SALE in paperback format on Amazon for $19.95.

Like this:

I snuck a peak at the opening line of Jeremy’s Romance Novel, and it reads thus: “Our hero’s name is Jarod, and women want to be with him, men want to be him, and genderfluids want him to drink them.”

Like this:

When I write my autobiography, it will be a cookbook called “4,321 Ways To Eat Leftover Meatloaf.” The only two unifying elements, besides the Leftover Meatloaf, will the blindfold and the clothespin, to plug your nose. The book’s suggested retail price will be $19.95.

Like this:

2019 seems to be the year that men becoming women produces yawns induced by boredom. When men start transitioning into cats, wake me up, because it’s not like I don’t already self-identify as one.

Like this:

At the height of my future media empire, I want my business to occupy a thirteen-story building. The Top Twelve stories will be pure fiction.

Like this:

I used to be a Donut Hustler, but then I realized it would be easier to be an author and sell ONE MILLION books than ONE MILLION donuts, because I only have to do the work once. So far I’ve sold one book. (Thanks, mom!)

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