My skills and resources are scarce, so be sure to book my services before all the pages are filled up and it’s FOR SALE in paperback format on Amazon for $19.95.

2019/03/202019/03/20 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-32

I snuck a peak at the opening line of Jeremy’s Romance Novel, and it reads thus: “Our hero’s name is Jarod, and women want to be with him, men want to be him, and genderfluids want him to drink them.”

2019/03/172019/03/17 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-30

When I write my autobiography, it will be a cookbook called “4,321 Ways To Eat Leftover Meatloaf.” The only two unifying elements, besides the Leftover Meatloaf, will the blindfold and the clothespin, to plug your nose. The book’s suggested retail price will be $19.95.

2019/03/142019/03/14 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-23

2019 seems to be the year that men becoming women produces yawns induced by boredom. When men start transitioning into cats, wake me up, because it’s not like I don’t already self-identify as one.

2019/02/182019/02/18 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-38

At the height of my future media empire, I want my business to occupy a thirteen-story building. The Top Twelve stories will be pure fiction.

2019/01/282019/01/28 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I used to be a Donut Hustler, but then I realized it would be easier to be an author and sell ONE MILLION books than ONE MILLION donuts, because I only have to do the work once. So far I’ve sold one book. (Thanks, mom!)

2019/01/052019/01/05 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-5

The ink that writes our Love Story is the blood that flows through our hearts, like flowers liquified and pulsing upward toward the light.

2018/12/15 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-8

Our Love Story is being written every day, and we are the co-authors. We’re also the editors, because that’s what enhances the romance.

2018/12/152018/12/15 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-5

God gave writers one brain and two #MindMouths, so we could talk to ourselves and not have to bother conversing with anybody else by actually speaking. As you read this, my words go from me to you, half of a dialogue, and that’s one 50% I support 100%.

2018/11/082018/11/08 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy2

You are what you consume, and I guess that makes me an all-you-can-eat buffet. Come to my funeral for discounted prices on ALL remaining body parts.

2018/08/242018/08/24 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy29

Tag: author

My skills and resources are scarce, so be sure to book my services before all the pages are filled up and it’s FOR SALE in paperback format on Amazon for $19.95.

Like this:

I snuck a peak at the opening line of Jeremy’s Romance Novel, and it reads thus: “Our hero’s name is Jarod, and women want to be with him, men want to be him, and genderfluids want him to drink them.”

Like this:

When I write my autobiography, it will be a cookbook called “4,321 Ways To Eat Leftover Meatloaf.” The only two unifying elements, besides the Leftover Meatloaf, will the blindfold and the clothespin, to plug your nose. The book’s suggested retail price will be $19.95.

Like this:

2019 seems to be the year that men becoming women produces yawns induced by boredom. When men start transitioning into cats, wake me up, because it’s not like I don’t already self-identify as one.

Like this:

At the height of my future media empire, I want my business to occupy a thirteen-story building. The Top Twelve stories will be pure fiction.

Like this:

I used to be a Donut Hustler, but then I realized it would be easier to be an author and sell ONE MILLION books than ONE MILLION donuts, because I only have to do the work once. So far I’ve sold one book. (Thanks, mom!)

Like this:

The ink that writes our Love Story is the blood that flows through our hearts, like flowers liquified and pulsing upward toward the light.

Like this:

Our Love Story is being written every day, and we are the co-authors. We’re also the editors, because that’s what enhances the romance.

Like this:

God gave writers one brain and two #MindMouths, so we could talk to ourselves and not have to bother conversing with anybody else by actually speaking. As you read this, my words go from me to you, half of a dialogue, and that’s one 50% I support 100%.

Like this:

You are what you consume, and I guess that makes me an all-you-can-eat buffet. Come to my funeral for discounted prices on ALL remaining body parts.

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