If you are what you eat, then this morning I am nothing. But at least I’m awake, because I’m drinking coffee and I don’t watch mainstream news.
Tag: author
It’s quite likely that I just wrote the BEST book full of duck quotes in existence. It’s also true that it’s probably the ONLY book of duck quotes, but so what? I’m still number ONE, and in my book, that’s worthy of a gold medal.
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No, I’m not calling YOUR book boring. YOUR book is amazing, and I can’t wait to start reading it. Is it available in video format?
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When you act NOW, you also receive a FREE copy of my newest book: “How to put out riot fires with your naked body.” The book itself is burnable, and should altogether be banned by The Government.
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Duck eggs—the energy drink in a shell. Now available in an assortment of flavors that can be easily digitized and uploaded to The Cloud, to be later enjoyed through your eyes and ears.
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In my book, love is all there is in this world. If you agree, that book retails for $19.95 and does come with a FREE slice of Leftover Meatloaf, which makes a tasty bookmark.
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If you vote, you’re not only NOT a moron in my book, but you’re also a hero. I think you’d like my book. It retails for $19.95, but for a warrior like you I’d be willing to let you have it for ONLY $19.95.
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If you buy my course, “How To Turn The Holocaust Into Your Own Money-Making Machine” for ONLY $19.95, you’ll also get a FREE yarmulke. But that’s not all! You’ll also receive a travel guide featuring all 109 countries your economic progenitors were forcible exiled from!
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My advice to novice writers is to just keep writing. I mean look at me, I’ve been writing for over a decade, and I’ve already written four sentences. So, yeah, I’m prolific.
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Writing would have more vibrancy if instead of ink, pens were filled with coffee.
jarodkintz.com 