When you act NOW, you also receive a FREE copy of my newest book: “How to put out riot fires with your naked body.” The book itself is burnable, and should altogether be banned by The Government.

2020/06/122020/06/12 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Duck eggs—the energy drink in a shell. Now available in an assortment of flavors that can be easily digitized and uploaded to The Cloud, to be later enjoyed through your eyes and ears.

2020/05/092020/05/09 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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In my book, love is all there is in this world. If you agree, that book retails for $19.95 and does come with a FREE slice of Leftover Meatloaf, which makes a tasty bookmark.

2019/11/18 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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If you vote, you’re not only NOT a moron in my book, but you’re also a hero. I think you’d like my book. It retails for $19.95, but for a warrior like you I’d be willing to let you have it for ONLY $19.95.

2019/11/182019/11/18 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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If you buy my course, “How To Turn The Holocaust Into Your Own Money-Making Machine” for ONLY $19.95, you’ll also get a FREE yarmulke. But that’s not all! You’ll also receive a travel guide featuring all 109 countries your economic progenitors were forcible exiled from!

2019/06/08 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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My advice to novice writers is to just keep writing. I mean look at me, I’ve been writing for over a decade, and I’ve already written four sentences. So, yeah, I’m prolific.

2019/04/212019/04/21 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Writing would have more vibrancy if instead of ink, pens were filled with coffee.

2019/04/15 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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My fried chicken is made from locally sourced materials, including, but not limited to: Formaldehyde, pink sludge, and perfume (to preserve that back-of-the-fridge stink, for the nostalgia factor).

2019/04/112019/04/11 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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If you ever think you’re funny, just try your material on your cat, and then get back to writing, because you have work to do.

2019/04/102019/04/10 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-36

I write in my sleep, groggily scribbling down dream thoughts, and so if I did sleep 20 hours a day, you couldn’t call me lazy, but with my voluminous work, you could call me L. Ron Hubbard.

2019/04/102019/04/10 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: author

When you act NOW, you also receive a FREE copy of my newest book: “How to put out riot fires with your naked body.” The book itself is burnable, and should altogether be banned by The Government.

Like this:

Duck eggs—the energy drink in a shell. Now available in an assortment of flavors that can be easily digitized and uploaded to The Cloud, to be later enjoyed through your eyes and ears.

Like this:

In my book, love is all there is in this world. If you agree, that book retails for $19.95 and does come with a FREE slice of Leftover Meatloaf, which makes a tasty bookmark.

Like this:

If you vote, you’re not only NOT a moron in my book, but you’re also a hero. I think you’d like my book. It retails for $19.95, but for a warrior like you I’d be willing to let you have it for ONLY $19.95.

Like this:

If you buy my course, “How To Turn The Holocaust Into Your Own Money-Making Machine” for ONLY $19.95, you’ll also get a FREE yarmulke. But that’s not all! You’ll also receive a travel guide featuring all 109 countries your economic progenitors were forcible exiled from!

Like this:

My advice to novice writers is to just keep writing. I mean look at me, I’ve been writing for over a decade, and I’ve already written four sentences. So, yeah, I’m prolific.

Like this:

Writing would have more vibrancy if instead of ink, pens were filled with coffee.

Like this:

My fried chicken is made from locally sourced materials, including, but not limited to: Formaldehyde, pink sludge, and perfume (to preserve that back-of-the-fridge stink, for the nostalgia factor).

Like this:

If you ever think you’re funny, just try your material on your cat, and then get back to writing, because you have work to do.

Like this:

I write in my sleep, groggily scribbling down dream thoughts, and so if I did sleep 20 hours a day, you couldn’t call me lazy, but with my voluminous work, you could call me L. Ron Hubbard.

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