The way water sits still in a glass and holds its shape, that’s how I dance. Luckily for you, I am now offering FREE refills.
Dance critics all over the world have called my body moves, “Sculpturesque,” “As full of motion as a Rodin statue,” and “Like watching Helen Keller eat Jell-O with her elbows.” My dancing is so still and silent that it belongs on a shelf in a library, next to other great literature.
Rembrandt painted portraits, The Karate Kid painted fences, and I paint my ducks’ beaks a brighter orange to boost sales. But I’m not a snob—I still consider those other two guys to also be artists.
I dance like both my shoes are nailed to the wall. It goes way beyond mere performance and into the realm of art. I am the Rodin of the music world.
As I was petting my cat this morning, it hit me that maybe my cat was stillfully rubbing my hand. In this upside-down world of negative interest rates, can you really be sure of anything except the value of duck eggs?
The reason I write music with one note occurring every 24 hours is that slow dancing is a lost art, and I’m trying to bring it back at an almost inaudible pace. Concert tickets $19.95 each, or two for $39.90.
As a portrait artist, I’m the best at handling chopsticks while drawing, and for ONLY $19.95 I can draw you in such a way that no matter what you look like, you’ll resemble Rasputin. You’ll also look like a love letter, so you’ll have the essence of romance.
Of all the things I can draw, I’m best at drawing a blank. But this only happens when someone asks me why we need Central Banksters.
If you haven’t learned about gematria yet, you haven’t gone far enough down The Rabbit Hole. Words and phrases match up because they share the same spirit, which makes sense because The Word is God, spoken into existence.