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No bears were injured in the making of this GIF. Sadly, one little girl did start crying. But she stopped once I gave her a Frozen Duck Soup Popsicle, which is now FOR SALE and available in four fun flavors that all taste the same!

2020/05/232020/05/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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This #ad is #sponsored by The Piano Movers Association of America, and NOT by Absolut Vodka, because they won’t return my calls or respond to my demands to be paid for services rendered.

2019/05/102019/05/10 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Why am I offering Open Heart Surgery operations for ONLY $19.95? Simple: Because my heart has so much love to give. Also there’s the fact that I’ve never done one before, and so there’s a good chance I may forget to put your heart back in before I close up your chest.

2018/12/032018/12/03 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I used to want to sell drugs for a living, but then I realized I was deceiving myself, and I’d make a terrible CIA Agent.

2018/03/13 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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  • Here’s an idea: You blame me and I’ll blame you. Then we can both join Howard Jones in singing, “No one is to blame.”
  • Everyone is getting crazier. And poorer. Which is making everyone even crazier.
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