My favorite bird is Thanksgiving, and I eat it once a year twice, to celebrate being able to celebrate. I take absurdity very seriously, and I suggest you $19.95 while you can still afford it or before it melts into Leftover Meatloaf.

2019/10/162019/10/16 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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A pulled tooth is heart-shaped, if yanked with love. That’s what I do—for ONLY $19.95!

2019/10/112019/10/11 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Vote for me. Make 2020 about vision once again, and let the blind and deaf vote for the dumb.

2019/10/112019/10/11 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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If your eyeballs are on fire, you might try putting on sunglasses so you don’t blind me while I talk to you. Come on, be considerate while carrying on a conversation.

2019/10/102019/10/10 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I’ve said this before, but why say something once when it’s about being a Chatty Cathy and I could say it twice?

2019/10/042019/10/04 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Where we are is a reflection of who we are, and right now I’m standing in front of a mirror, if that tells you what sort of a person I am. Hint: I am not my clone, even though I might look like it.

2019/10/032019/10/03 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Fish-scented toothpaste that tastes like birds would be a SwimFly experience best sold in squeeze tubes. And if it had an afterflavor of Leftover Meatloaf, then it might have the essence of every Family Reunion I’ve never attended.

2019/10/022019/10/02 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I remember signing The Social Contract the instant I was born, before I had even been assigned a name. With FREE roads that we have to pay for and are never repaired, along with other benefits like the largest prison industry in history, it’s quite a bargain.

2019/10/012019/10/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Autumn leaves go from green to brown, though orange, and that’s a gradient that’s great in the beginning and middle, but sad at the end, like fading love. I wish we could omit winter and summer, and just have a SpringFall kind of romance.

2019/09/302019/09/30 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Self-storage is good, but self-actualization is better. How can you work on improving your personal life if your heart is cluttered? Why not store all that junk in my attic for ONLY $19.95 a month?

2019/09/302019/09/30 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: absurd

My favorite bird is Thanksgiving, and I eat it once a year twice, to celebrate being able to celebrate. I take absurdity very seriously, and I suggest you $19.95 while you can still afford it or before it melts into Leftover Meatloaf.

Like this:

A pulled tooth is heart-shaped, if yanked with love. That’s what I do—for ONLY $19.95!

Like this:

Vote for me. Make 2020 about vision once again, and let the blind and deaf vote for the dumb.

Like this:

If your eyeballs are on fire, you might try putting on sunglasses so you don’t blind me while I talk to you. Come on, be considerate while carrying on a conversation.

Like this:

I’ve said this before, but why say something once when it’s about being a Chatty Cathy and I could say it twice?

Like this:

Where we are is a reflection of who we are, and right now I’m standing in front of a mirror, if that tells you what sort of a person I am. Hint: I am not my clone, even though I might look like it.

Like this:

Fish-scented toothpaste that tastes like birds would be a SwimFly experience best sold in squeeze tubes. And if it had an afterflavor of Leftover Meatloaf, then it might have the essence of every Family Reunion I’ve never attended.

Like this:

Autumn leaves go from green to brown, though orange, and that’s a gradient that’s great in the beginning and middle, but sad at the end, like fading love. I wish we could omit winter and summer, and just have a SpringFall kind of romance.

Like this:

Self-storage is good, but self-actualization is better. How can you work on improving your personal life if your heart is cluttered? Why not store all that junk in my attic for ONLY $19.95 a month?

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