Have you ever told a joke with a punch line so naughty you have to whisper it? I did that today, only I shouted the ending, because with Forced Social Distancing, by the time my voice traveled and endured over the air to the receiving ear, it may have been nearly inaudible.

2020/04/022020/04/02 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Ah, April in The Ozarks Day. I love this time of year because it lasts all year. It’s the one day of the year that’s all the days of the year, and that makes it special.

2020/04/012020/04/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I had a dream about you last night. What did you mean when you said, “Can I borrow your Tomato Machine? I left my seven in my head.” I thought you left eight! Now my calculations are WAY off!

2020/04/012020/04/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I may dance like two-thirds of the bottom half of a piano, but that doesn’t mean you can buy my Romantic Moves. However, they are FOR RENT at Truck Stop Diner Prices.

2020/03/292020/03/29 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I’m what you’d call a REAL patriot. You know, a man so overflowing with MAGA that my loyalty can be rented for ONLY $1,200 dollars per month.

2020/03/262020/03/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Drink up your delusion while you still can. FREE refills while supplies last.

2020/03/262020/03/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I saw a rooster on a leash, so I asked the guy walking it if he was offering Meals On A Leash. He denied being an industry disruptor, an innovator, so I snatched the approach to FRESH delivery food and transformed it into a new #startup.

2020/03/262020/03/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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The worst part about this Coronavirus Crisis is that since everything has been canceled, I can’t watch sports. It’s true that as a fan I was Helen Kelleresque, but I was just about to get serious about life, and finally start paying attention to what truly matters in this world.

2020/03/182020/03/18 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I now sell Waterfall Wedding Veils, because what’s more romantic than weddings and waterfalls? Only the LOW price of ONLY $19.95!

2020/03/172020/03/17 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Women may not appreciate how my conversational skills rise to the level of Chatbot Romance, but many small business owners reach out to me to try to hire me for customer service/seduction.

2020/03/172020/03/17 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: absurd

Ah, April in The Ozarks Day. I love this time of year because it lasts all year. It’s the one day of the year that’s all the days of the year, and that makes it special.

Like this:

I had a dream about you last night. What did you mean when you said, “Can I borrow your Tomato Machine? I left my seven in my head.” I thought you left eight! Now my calculations are WAY off!

Like this:

I may dance like two-thirds of the bottom half of a piano, but that doesn’t mean you can buy my Romantic Moves. However, they are FOR RENT at Truck Stop Diner Prices.

Like this:

I’m what you’d call a REAL patriot. You know, a man so overflowing with MAGA that my loyalty can be rented for ONLY $1,200 dollars per month.

Like this:

Drink up your delusion while you still can. FREE refills while supplies last.

Like this:

I saw a rooster on a leash, so I asked the guy walking it if he was offering Meals On A Leash. He denied being an industry disruptor, an innovator, so I snatched the approach to FRESH delivery food and transformed it into a new #startup.

Like this:

The worst part about this Coronavirus Crisis is that since everything has been canceled, I can’t watch sports. It’s true that as a fan I was Helen Kelleresque, but I was just about to get serious about life, and finally start paying attention to what truly matters in this world.

Like this:

I now sell Waterfall Wedding Veils, because what’s more romantic than weddings and waterfalls? Only the LOW price of ONLY $19.95!

Like this:

Women may not appreciate how my conversational skills rise to the level of Chatbot Romance, but many small business owners reach out to me to try to hire me for customer service/seduction.

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