People always say to me, “Jarod, do you wear a cloud for a wig?” The answer is no, my hair is naturally hovering water vapor, and if your farm is in a drought, you can pay me to come stand in your field and water your crops with my stormy mane.
Tag: absurd
Jonathan has selected his FREE email to be Joycesque, and to that I said yes I will Yes and yes it’s coming right up, and his email will be full of YES and perfume and flowers and he asked me with his eyes to Yes in text format so I will yes I said YES.
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BearPaw Duck Farm’s omelets are for people with nut allergies. They don’t contain nuts, but you’d have to be nuts to not BUY one.
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Is a bag of BearPaw Duck Farm’s Powdered Egg Substitute Protein Mix more valuable than cocaine? Give it a snort and find out for yourself!
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Who said manufacturing in America is dead? We make all sorts of stuff. We make war, fake money, fake news, and fake food. We also make real food, too. BearPaw Duck Farm’s Organic Orange-legged Aquatic Birds are 100% factory FRESH. You can hardly taste machine!
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The desert is nothing without water. Actually, it’s everything without water, because if it had water it would cease to be a desert. Powdered Duck Eggs are the same way. Just add water! Or don’t! How you consume them is up to you.
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This GIF doubles as an air freshener. It smells like watery duck poop.
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This is the deal of the century. Just not this century. Business was pretty good in the year 1234. My rates are competitive to that era.
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Remember to VOTE! Because if you don’t VOTE, then the same globalist corporate mascot will get selected, but you won’t feel empowered and like you had a tiny sliver of control in the outcome.
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I hope the bank hires me, because I’d really like to get back into the swing of things. Like Babe Ruth meets Mob Enforcer.
