I think you are confused. You want to fight the GOAT, the Greatest Of All Time, and not an actual goat. But I’ll bet you could beat the GOAT in a fight, because you have the distinct advantage of not being dead.

2021/09/21 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I just invented a way to put the smooth sounds of a saxophone directly into a trumpet—with little or minimal rusting. When you listen to my music, just close your eyes, because your mind is about to take a romantic trip—inside of a mental elevator.

2021/09/20 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

It’s too bad GIFs are silent, because I recorded some original saxophone music to accompany this masterpiece. It sounds like ducks quacking on the moon, and if you’ve got an empty elevator that needs space to be filled, it’s now FOR SALE.

2021/09/17 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

You should be proactive and call BearPaw Duck and Meme Farm BEFORE something breaks on your car. That way we can come out and make sure something needs to get fixed.

2021/07/08 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

At BearPaw Duck and Meme Farm, we recognize that low prices shit on quality. I’m talking about a nasty dump in a mop bucket kind of way, which is why we stay clean of gimmicky deals.

2021/07/05 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Do you often feel lethargic, like you have no energy? Next time, try charging your body through electrocution via lightning bolt. I now make and sell pointy metal hats that are designed to be worn in thunderstorms.

2021/06/28 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Did you even know the saxophone could make farm noises? You know I’m a genius jazz performer because it sounds like I haven’t played an instrument ever before.

2021/06/09 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

There is a party tomorrow night. You should go. Oh, by the way, you’re not invited. Neither am I. That’s why you should tell me how it is, detailing the whole evening and event in a notebook that I’ll later read and relive while I sip coffee in bed.

2021/06/05 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Dance critics all over the world have called my body moves, “Sculpturesque,” “As full of motion as a Rodin statue,” and “Like watching Helen Keller eat Jell-O with her elbows.” My dancing is so still and silent that it belongs on a shelf in a library, next to other great literature.

2021/01/21 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

You’ll taste the pow of black powder like a gunshot in your mouth. That’s the kind of explosive flavor provided by my powerful Duck Soup.

2021/01/072021/01/14 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Tag: absurd meme

I think you are confused. You want to fight the GOAT, the Greatest Of All Time, and not an actual goat. But I’ll bet you could beat the GOAT in a fight, because you have the distinct advantage of not being dead.

Like this:

I just invented a way to put the smooth sounds of a saxophone directly into a trumpet—with little or minimal rusting. When you listen to my music, just close your eyes, because your mind is about to take a romantic trip—inside of a mental elevator.

Like this:

It’s too bad GIFs are silent, because I recorded some original saxophone music to accompany this masterpiece. It sounds like ducks quacking on the moon, and if you’ve got an empty elevator that needs space to be filled, it’s now FOR SALE.

Like this:

You should be proactive and call BearPaw Duck and Meme Farm BEFORE something breaks on your car. That way we can come out and make sure something needs to get fixed.

Like this:

At BearPaw Duck and Meme Farm, we recognize that low prices shit on quality. I’m talking about a nasty dump in a mop bucket kind of way, which is why we stay clean of gimmicky deals.

Like this:

Do you often feel lethargic, like you have no energy? Next time, try charging your body through electrocution via lightning bolt. I now make and sell pointy metal hats that are designed to be worn in thunderstorms.

Like this:

Did you even know the saxophone could make farm noises? You know I’m a genius jazz performer because it sounds like I haven’t played an instrument ever before.

Like this:

There is a party tomorrow night. You should go. Oh, by the way, you’re not invited. Neither am I. That’s why you should tell me how it is, detailing the whole evening and event in a notebook that I’ll later read and relive while I sip coffee in bed.

Like this:

Dance critics all over the world have called my body moves, “Sculpturesque,” “As full of motion as a Rodin statue,” and “Like watching Helen Keller eat Jell-O with her elbows.” My dancing is so still and silent that it belongs on a shelf in a library, next to other great literature.

Like this:

You’ll taste the pow of black powder like a gunshot in your mouth. That’s the kind of explosive flavor provided by my powerful Duck Soup.

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