3. Vladimir Putin washes his underwear in warm milk.
2. Thomas Edison’s eyebrows always argued, and could never simply meet in the middle.
1. Francis Bacon loved his women like he loved his breakfast: in bed–the same bed he kept in Shakespeare’s kitchen.
5. As per Descartes’ personal instruction, this slot does not exist. At least I think it doesn’t.
6. Nietzsche rode a stationary unicycle to stay in shape. It had no seat, and he always exercised naked.
7. I once showed up to my internet date’s house for our first date wearing only a filthy, unbuttoned raincoat and an elongated display of my eagerness to please. She called the cops, but never called me again.
4. Orafoura gave this book his stamp of approval, and he even let me lick the aforementioned stamp (it tasted like warm milk).