I fell in love

I read this book in the bathroom, and the sex scenes were so steamy they fogged up my mirror. I know it wasn’t caused by my fog machine, because I unplugged that before I opened the book.

Of all the humor books written this year, this is the best one I’ve read. It’s also the only humor book I’ve read this year, so it’s got that exclusivity going for it.

I love this book like I love a brick and a blanket, which could be used to teach people the value of safe sex. Remember, if you’re going to have safe sex, try not to get locked inside the safe without anybody on the outside knowing the combination.

Here’s a letter I recently wrote to Dora J. Arod concerning Bauvard’s book. Let’s read what I had to say.

Dear Dora,

I recently fell in love with a book by Bauvard. Is it normal for a reader to want to have sex with an author’s words, but not the author that wrote them?


Jarod Ora Kintz

Dear Jarod,

No, it is not normal. I think you are a pervert and you disgust me. If you were a fish, I’d recommend that you move to the desert and take up cave painting.

Insincerely, Dora J. Arod

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