Ben Bernanke and Janet Yellen walk into a bar. They must be doing the Limbo, because that bar is set so incredibly low.
In a healthy economic recovery, a store closing means they’ll reopen the following morning. Under this sham recovery from 2009, it means closing forever.
According to Business Insider, Sears is secretly closing more stores than the incredibly large number they previously whispered. If mannequins could talk, they’d tell you to run.
But according to Federal Reserve Chair Janet Yellen, “The simple message is — the economy is doing well.”
As USA Today put it, “Eight years after the Great Recession ended, it’s finally starting to feel like a normal economy again.”
And by normal they mean if you have the vision and insight of a man with his head lodged deep in his own anus.
CNN offers this perspective, “Stores are closing at an epic pace. In fact, the retail industry could suffer far more store closures this year than ever.”
But real is too expensive. All they have to offer is #FakeNews and #FakeMoney.
ZeroHedge has dubbed this upcoming event the “Retail Apocalypse.”
They have documented this slow-motion train crash for months, and they recently said,
“As you know, the United States is rapidly descending into the ‘retail apocalypse’ with over 21 retailers closing 3591 stores in 2017.”
To avoid the inevitable death spiral that looms in our economy, and to secure safety, I’d recommend buying gold, silver, and Bitcoin.
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Published by jarodkintz1
A lot of people want to know about Jarod Kintz. Most of these people just want to know where they can find him so they can get their money back, but there are a few people who really want to know more about him, other than what they can decipher through his writings. Well, here are a few facts about Jarod for all you curious people out there.
-Jarod often finds himself in a quandary over the meaning of life. Sometimes, like after he saw a pack of porcupines get run over by a truck, he feels the pointlessness of it all, and wonders how God could let such a thing happen to a new set of tires.
-Jarod likes spending his weekends making cardboard houses for homeless people to live in, although he just hates asking to borrow their living rooms when he needs to move some stuff.
-Jarod likes to credit all his success to a statement one of his early college professors, Dr. Franzenboebowitz, who said, “Whether you think you can or think you can’t, either way you’re still a retard.”
-After reading “The Art of War” by both Machiavelli and Sun Tzu, Jarod was heard saying, “I think both authors are so serious, and they could have greatly benefited from the use of my Binary Anal Defibrillator.” Consequently, he also feels this way about Nietzsche, Tolstoy, Dostoevsky, and Allen Ginsberg (though for much different reasons).
-Jarod divides his time evenly between an abacus and one of those clever early 90s calculator watches.
-Jarod once wrote a screenplay that ended with the main character crying in the rain screaming, “Curdled Milk!” Jarod figured that that was the ideal way to end a movie, because that way nobody could spoil the ending, since it had already gone bad anyway.
-Jarod is excited that you have read this far, and would be greatly honored if you would follow the following link to Amazon.com to check out some more of his Random Thoughts for only .99 cents
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