About

-Jarod often finds himself in a quandary over the meaning of life. Sometimes, like after he saw a pack of porcupines get run over by a truck, he feels the pointlessness of it all, and wonders how God could let such a thing happen to a new set of tires.

-Jarod likes spending his weekends making cardboard houses for homeless people to live in, although he just hates asking to borrow their living rooms when he needs to move some stuff.

-Jarod likes to credit all his success to a statement one of his early college professors, Dr. Franzenboebowitz, who said, “Whether you think you can or think you can’t, either way you’re still a retard.”

-After reading “The Art of War” by both Machiavelli and Sun Tzu, Jarod was heard saying, “I think both authors are so serious, and they could have greatly benefited from the use of my Binary Anal Defibrillator.” Consequently, he also feels this way about Nietzsche, Tolstoy, Dostoevsky, and Allen Ginsberg (though for much different reasons).

-Jarod divides his time evenly between an abacus and one of those clever early 90s calculator watches.

-Jarod once wrote a screenplay that ended with the main character crying in the rain screaming, “Curdled Milk!” Jarod figured that that was the ideal way to end a movie, because that way nobody could spoil the ending, since it had already gone bad anyway.

-Jarod is excited that you have read this far, and would be greatly honored if you would follow the following link to Amazon.com to check out some more of his Random Thoughts for as little as .99 cents.

7 Responses to About

  1. Ryan varney says:

    This looks pretty clean, I love the transitions!

  2. Humdinger says:

    I wish I could read anything on this page.

  3. i cannot believe how effin brilliant you are….. i laughed for hours, thought for days and am still kinda sitting here trying to figure out if i am better or worse for the experience. i guess it’s safe to say that i am in absolute awe of your randomness and your ability to put everything out there the way you do. as far as literary genius goes, you’re my hero :)

  4. Pingback: Birthday Quotes for Friends, Sister, Brother, Love, Husband, Wife and Boss | BirthdayQuotes.co.in

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